A Noble Man

In an effort to understand the opposite sex and to continue trusting God for a noble man, I came across this article that really encouraged me. All of us have our stories and I have mine too. In the end, I'm determined that the noble man exists and will pursue. It's only right and biblical. Unfortunately today I don't think men or women are being schooled in Biblical truths of pursuit. Instead most of what I see going on in the church is either entirely non-existent or looks like a dumbed down version of Sex in the City. What's happening? Well, call me naive or blindly hopeful, but I am trusting God to instill within the men of this generation a desire for nobility, to be men of intention, to stand out from the crowd and pursue.

The Noble Man by Carolyn McCulley, Author & Contributing Writer
Once when I was praying about a man I liked, the Lord
brought to mind the Scripture address of Isaiah 32:8. I
looked it up eagerly, and read: "But the noble man makes
noble plans, and by noble deeds he stands" (NIV). I had no
idea how to apply this Scripture to my prayers, so I waited
and watched. Over the course of time, I came to see that
this man was not being purposeful in our friendship, that
noble plans were not being made and the deeds I observed
were careless, not intentional. However, as I later studied
this passage, I saw several ways to evaluate whether a man
would be commended by the Lord as a noble man. This verse
concludes a passage about the kingdom of righteousness that
reads:
"See, a king will reign in righteousness and rulers will
rule with justice. Each man will be like a shelter from the
wind and a refuge from the storm, like streams of water in
the desert and the shadow of a great rock in a thirsty land.
Then the eyes of those who see will no longer be closed, and
the ears of those who hear will listen. The mind of the rash
will know and understand, and the stammering tongue will be
fluent and clear. No longer will the fool be called noble
nor the scoundrel be highly respected. For the fool speaks
folly, his mind is busy with evil: He practices ungodliness
and spreads error concerning the LORD; the hungry he leaves
empty and from the thirsty he withholds water. The
scoundrel's methods are wicked, he makes up evil schemes to
destroy the poor with lies, even when the plea of the needy
is just. But the noble man makes noble plans, and by noble
deeds he stands." (Isaiah 32:1-8 NIV)
I realize this is a prophetic passage about the Messiah, and
not anyone's husband. But because here in Scripture we find
the characteristics of a noble, godly man contrasted with
those of a scoundrel, this is a useful passage for women to
study to understand what God calls godly.

A noble man (The scoundrel)
Is a shelter from the wind (Speaks folly)
Is a refuge from the storm (Mind is busy with evil)
Is streams of water in the desert (Practices ungodliness)
The shadow of a great rock (Spreads error concerning the Lord)
in a thirsty land (Makes up evil schemes)
Makes noble plans (Does nothing for the hungry, thirsty)
Does noble deeds
A noble man is a hiding place from the rough elements of
life, a man who offers protection and shelter. He does not
leave you exposed - either to ridicule or to harm. He is
refreshment in a dry place, bringing much encouragement. He
flows with streams of living water because he is a man of
the Word. He is shade in weariness - reflecting the strength
of the Rock, Christ. When a man is making noble plans toward
you, he wants to offer you covering. He will offer to serve
you, help carry your burdens, and pour the Word into your
dry soul. His deeds will be noble, not common. He will show
evidences of cherishing you, protecting your boundaries and
standards. He won't touch you like a common object, and he
will exert himself to care for you and to notice your needs.
Most importantly, a noble man is a submitted man himself. He
serves his King wholeheartedly and makes himself accountable
to other men. In my opinion, this should be one of the first
characteristics we look for in any man who pursues us. In
the happiest marriages I've seen, the husbands have other
men in their lives who observe them, offer correction, and
ask them how they are doing serving their wives and
children. Without that community of accountability and
authority, a couple has no one outside themselves to appeal
to for help in unresolved conflict. Author and pastor Andrew
Farmer writes:
"A woman should evaluate a man's respect for authority. In
our society, the godly man is most distinct from the worldly
man in the way he has put away prideful independence and
pursued humble submissiveness. A man who is independent in
his faith and does not seek the counsel and oversight of
pastors and other mature men, will be a failure as a leader
(and therefore as a husband) as defined by Scripture. See
the story of Abigail and Nabal for a sad example of an
arrogant man not worthy of his virtuous wife (1 Samuel 25)."

The Intentional Man
If you are fortunate, you know a few tested, noble men. What
remains is whether or not they are being intentional toward
you. The "problem" with godly men is that they are so
markedly different - gentlemanly, kind, attentive - from
most men in our culture that it's hard not to receive it
personally. I see that over and over again in my church as
new women join. Inevitably, one of the guys will offer to
walk a woman to her car after a meeting. These women usually
have one of two reactions. Either they will refuse the offer
because they think the guy is interested, or they will light
up like Times Square because they think he is interested.
What they don't know is that there is a third option: he's
not interested, he's just extending gentlemanly care.
Because they don't know the culture, it's easy to be
confused.
The point is, an intentional man makes his purposes known.
He tells you what he's doing, and where he's leading. He is
clear about where he wants the relationship to go. When he's
not clear, when he's not saying anything, when he's enjoying
the friendship but not moving forward - he's not being
intentional. Period. You don't see noble deeds because he's
not making those noble plans. You may have the greatest
friendship in the world, but he's just hanging out in it. In
fact, one man called this half-hearted testing of the water
"the buddy approach."
I know how tempting it is to hang out in these undefined
friendships, where the best you can get is a blurry,
part-time boyfriend. At least some attention is better than
none, right? Nope, sorry, I'm no longer convinced of that.
For one, I find it challenging to guard my heart and keep my
peace before God in these "hopeful friendships." I'm always
in danger of closing my fist-of-demand over the friendship,
instead of leaving this friendship in open hands before the
Lord. Second, it tempts the men to passivity, in my humble
observation. It provides them with the out of "Oh, maybe you
misunderstood me, we're just friends." If we women would be
better about guarding the amount of time and attention
invested in these close friendships, we might see our
reserve rewarded with pursuit instead of passivity. After
all, we don't want to manipulate the situation and then live
under one of the three things the Bible says makes the earth
tremble: "an unloved woman when she gets a husband"
(Proverbs 30:23).
When is a man interested? When he says so, and his actions
back up his words. Anything less is at best merely friendly,
and possibly even uncertain or inconsiderate. If he's a
noble man who's made noble plans, one of his noble deeds is
letting you know about it!
(A shout out to the guys still reading this column. See? It
really does come down to those three little words: Talk. To.
Her. I also hope you are not discouraged by the points
above. It's worth stating again: Perfection is not the
standard. We only want to see you taking biblical standards
seriously and attempting to apply them in your lives. I
often receive letters from guys saying there's not much
material out there for cultivating godliness as a single
man. Yes, it does seem that most materials are for single
women. Though I do not presume to fill that void - it's
better that you are equipped and discipled by other godly
men - I do hope that by eavesdropping here you've derived
some benefit and have some points to discuss with the guys.
We women are praying for you!)