Sunday, August 31, 2008

Labor Day

Although somewhat celebrated as the end of the summer and a day off for all workers, it's funny to me that this holiday is called "Labor Day" when no one works. Well, it's not celebrated here in Hungary so I celebrate with you from a distance, imagining the BBQ's and family gatherings no doubt taking place. Enjoy your day off, the end of summer there in the states.

I've got a busy day of meetings. Can't I protest and say I'm an American? Oh well. Hungarians have enough other holidays to make up for it.

Give thanks

The cool, crisp morning air came wafing through the open window this morning and greeted me in the loft, reminding me of the early mornings in Nevada where mountain cold morning air is enough to keep you under the covers a little longer.

It's 6:45 am and I stumble out of bed, 15 minutes before the alarm. This is my mode of operation. Usually on time, but sometimes early. I haven't quite yet figured out how to get things to work in sync -- not so much in real time, but in my dreams and desires.

Making some hot oatmeal and coffee is just the right combination of hot for this morning. I grab my Bible, an old journal to thumb through and my journal for today's thoughts. Yesterday while cleaning, I found "Our Daily Bread" daily reading guide and now have it conveniently stuffed in the back of the Bible. Slippers on the feet, hot coffee in hand, I read 2 Timothy 3:16 "All scripture is given by inspiration of God."

In a changing world, I can trust God's unchanging word and it's here this morning while reading that I remember to "Give thanks" and "Give praise".

Give. What do I have to give a God so vast in His expanse of understanding and wisdom, so far beyond my reach yet reachable because He chooses to come near each day? I have so very little to impress Him.

What does it mean to give God something anyways? These are intangible words and I live in a tangible, visible world.

Give: freely transfer the possession of something to someone; hand over; bestow love, affection or other emotional support; commit, consign, entrust, freely devote, set aside, sacrifice for a purpose.

Of all these former definitions, the one that grabs my attention most this morning is to "set aside."

It's as if God knows we need the encouragement when it was penned to set aside thanks and praise for Him. Not because we aren't thankful or full of praise, but maybe because we are so busy we forget the one who stands by our side day and night tirelessly loving us through everything every day.

God I have so much to be thankful for! And of all the things I'm passionate about and express my delight in or the approval and admiration of others, of all the things I write about, love to do and see and be, it's you I praise the most. God I so admire you. I respect you for being such a holy God yet choosing to come close to sinful me. I am thankful for your constant love and purpose guarding and guiding my way. I give you my praise, my thankful heart. I give you me.

Thank you for giving me you. I praise you God! I give you thanks!

Fall cleaning

Today after church I came back to my flat and had an overwhelming desire to clean my room, straighten things, throw things away, and ultimately rearrange the room. Call it Fall cleaning but I had to jump on it while I had the urge to clean so thoroughly. I still have some papers to sort through and figure out what I want to keep and what I need to get rid of.

I found out there is a bookstore here in Budapest called 'Dans Tree Huggers' that buys used English books and then resells them. I need some extra cashola and need to downsize in all areas so sometime this week I hope to take a load of books and unload. Excited about that!

The nights are getting cooler and I figured now is a good time to move the bed back up into the loft and give myself a little room at the bottom. So, I rearranged my room and things so that I now have a workout area in my room.

Nona (New Yorker friend who married a Hungarian) is staying with me and has taken the living room, which is fine for me right now. I enjoy the company and told her she can stay here until she sorts things out in Budapest with her husband (long story) or until the Texas team comes September 20th. If you think of Nona, please pray for her.
Nona is a vegetarian, which I think is really interesting. I've always loved meat and hearty food so I doubt I could ever be a vegetarian but I'm curious to learn about eating more foods that are healthy and natural. She made these delicious soups and other things with lentils and rice and I'm just fascinated.

My room feels great now and I feel so organized as I head into a busy Fall schedule. It's nice to get organized.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

The Soxers...

Now that the Olympics are over, I've reset my internet open page to the Bo Sox team page. I have to be honest. I'm much more into the team because it's a family thing and because I love baseball in general but if someone were to start asking me about players and stats and rattle off other things, I get lost. I find it really funny that most men who do follow baseball know the stats. My dad does on a lot of things, even the history of it all. For me, I'm much more "Go Bo Sox!"
This morning I was relatively encouraged as I woke up and read a few things and contemplated the future. As much as I live in the here and now, I'm also a dreamer and a big picture person. It's just how this soul rolls. I guess I'm encouraged to know that God truly does hold my life in His hands and directs my steps, even when unclear.
Have you ever had a friend who helps you get those gut wrenching laughs out? That would be Anna. You can see who she is in the previous post but the girl is hilarious even when she's not trying to be. I guess what makes it a great friendship is the fact that she thinks I'm just as funny. I like it when people like me.
I realized something about my personality over the past several months and I don't think it's something I need to completely change although I do need to learn and change somewhat on how to handle conflicts better. I don't like conflict. I will brush things under the rug to avoid arguments. Now that I read all about ENFJ's it makes sense. It makes a lot of sense as to why I hated so often the conversations that would start great and go deep with my dad and then turn into conflict. I don't like conflict. I like peace. I get personally affected by it deeply. Well, I read somewhere in the bible that the peacemakers inherit the earth so its a good quality in some way, I believe. But in an intimate relationship, there are conflicts so I will definitely need to grow in how to resolve conflict in a good way. Conflict sucks. I hate them but they are also a part of life. People cross your will. People make you mad and you have to handle it in a way that brings life. So, I'm working on that. In the meantime, I think I realized that I want to be in a relationship with someone who also has a high appreciation for peace. I don't want to have a lot of conflict in that most intimate of relationships.
Tonight I'm going out to meet "village girl" Anna and we're going to chill at her house, watch a few movies and work while we do it. She's got lesson plans and I've got admin stuff I've been avoiding. She's become a good friend. Thankful for her company.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

My babysitting job is over :(

When Anna went to the states, I told her I would babysit her lonesome guitar.

It's been a great few months with her...such a good lil' girl. Such a low-maintenance job really. Now, unfortunately, her mama wants her back.

I have to admit though. The only song I re-learned is by Crystal Lewis called "Only Fools." It's an all time favorite of mine. Maybe because of the lyrics.

only fools follow gold
only wise men know
i’m no fool,
you’ve changed my point of view

to be kind is quality
that i richly desire
it is better
to be poor than a liar

i no longer see
things controlling me
you have spoken,
i have listened
only fools believe in
only what they see
the wise are rich indeed

what a friend we have in Jesus
he hears all our cries
if you listen, you’ll hear him crying too...

i no longer see
things controlling me
you have spoken,
i have listened
only fools believe in
only what they see
the wise are rich indeed

Over good Mexican food in Budapest earlier tonight, Anna and I talked about some good times we've had together. Hmmmm. Village girl. One of a kind!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Bernese Mountain Dog

To whoever helped correct me on this information, thank you. Dorca's dog was a Bernese Mountain Dog and this is the dog I would consider, although the other dog has less hair. I'm SO not a dog snob but I do like big dogs and they must be friendly. :D This one meets the qualifications. Look at the markings! So adorable.

The Swissy

I think to have an animal besides a fish you sort of have to have an established life somewhere. If you're going to have a dog you should be prepared to walk it and care for it like a child. Well, I'm not there in my life right now as I'm obviously galavanting around Europe. Not really, but you know what I mean.

I have decided in the past that I really like Retrievers and Labs. I just added a dog to that list. He's called the "Swissy". Someday, I hope to have a big dog. It would obviously have to be child friendly because I also hope to have children and as I've researched the Swissy, apparently they are very loyal dogs and good with children. :D

I absolutely love the colors of the Swissy. It's called a Greater Swiss Mountain Dog and I'm loving it. Dorca's parents had this dog and she was awesome! The cool thing is as I read about it the last few days I found out that ancestrally this dog is linked to the St. Bernard. I always loved St. Bernards but realized I could never get one because of the nasty drool factor. But Swissys are drool free so this is a very positive thing. Who knows but I do hope someday that I'm established enough to have a dog. A big dog. My philosophy on dogs: Go big or go home :D

Monday, August 25, 2008

Personality Test

I love studying people, figuring out why they do what they do and how God created each one of us so uniquely.

Here's a really brief but amazing online test you can take. Just four questions and it will give you a description of your personality. Then, at the bottom of the page, if you're married or have a significant, you can read about compatibility. These things always intrigue me.

Maybe that's why I'm a GT - Groundbreaking Thinker. :D If you take the test, let me know your results. I love learning about people.

Regrettably no 1/2 marathon for me

So after missing three days of training this weekend and not getting my miles in the past few weeks (I can only run 8 non-stop), I decided I'm going to bail out of the 1/2 marathon and keep training for the October event. I'm not disappointed at all. I hate running but I know I need to keep on it so I'll shoot for October. I would still like to do a 1/2 marathon sometime soon. Just not sure where and when. Oh well.

A Roman Festival....oops. :D

The quaint place we stayed at near Sombathely is Dorca's parents vineyard cottage with just enough room for the four of us girls and Dorca's younger brother, who has his drivers license and was our chauffeur. We could see the Austrian Alps from the porch. Talk about amazing. It truly was.


Oh, and the festival was Roman not Renaissance. And there was a good reason for the Festival. This quaint town once was a part of the Roman Empire and the XVth Roman Legion was stationed here. I guess it was also a place for Veteran legions to retire. We enjoyed the parade and the events on Saturday and Sunday. I had a great time with Linda, Eszter and Dorca.

On Sunday afternoon we enjoyed a traditional Hungarian dinner (lunch) at Dorca's parents house in the village where Dorca grew up. There are only about 400 people in this village and apparently, their mayor comes out to water the flowers that line the town. Oh and there are TONS of Sunflower fields. Noel, you would have loved it. I posted a picture of one from her mom's garden for you. I should have taken more pictures. It was truly beautiful. Also, I decided after hanging out with Dorca's dog, which is a greater swiss mountain dog, that I now LOVE this breed. One day I want a big dog and now this swiss mountain dog will definitely be in the finals with the lab and the retriever.

Back to the village -- it's definitely a different lifestyle than busy Budapest and I found myself thoroughly enjoying it. Actually Dorca mentioned how she's not looking forward to coming back in a week for college because being almost 4 hours from family is rough. I told her she can hang out at my place anytime she wants to get away from the dorms and I hope she does. These girls are great. Please be praying for them -- I'm trusting God to do great things in their hearts this Fall.

Friday, August 22, 2008

A Renaissance Festival

So I leave this afternoon for a weekend near Sombathely in another part of Hungary. I'll stay with one of the university girls and we'll go to a Renaissance festival. She just emailed this morning saying that we will stay in her parents summer home where her dad has a vineyard and we get to taste their wine. What an incredible one time experience to go to a Hungarian vineyard. So cool! I'm looking forward to it. I'll post pictures soon.


Anna just got back from the states and we spent St. Stephen's Day celebrating together. This holiday celebrates the day that Stephen became the first King of Hungary and made it a "christian" nation around 1000 a.d. There are events throughout the nation to celebrate and across the street from my flat in the city park they had all sorts of events, including a wine tasting festival. We ended up perfectly situated in Hero's Square in the evening when the fireworks went off. We couldn't have planned it better if we tried! We had a lot of fun and great conversations. Here's a few pictures of our time Aug 20th.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

With four days left of the Olympic games, it's interesting to see that although the US has won significantly less gold medals than China, we are in the lead for overall medals among gold, silver and bronze. Should be interesting to see how the next four days play out. I love the Olympics :D

Big Hungarian Holiday

So tomorrow is a big Hungarian holiday here and everyone gets the day off. There will be events across the street from where I live and fireworks in the evening celebrating how St. Stephen made Hungary a nation around 1000 a.d. I found a few you tube clips on Hungary. This one was kind of fun because it's some video clips of the famous Andrassy street from Oktogon to the Opera House. It gives you a taste of life in Budapest. The pictures of the underground metro are pictures of the first underground built in all of Europe, even before the first one was built in London. It's barely below ground but the work inside is beautifully restored and probably the cleanest of the three metros. So that's fun for you to see.

Anna just got back from the states today so she will come tomorrow night and stay over so we can catch up, eat chocolate, play her guitar, probably watch a movie and laugh a lot. That's usually what we do when we hang out. I'm sort of bummed to be giving her the guitar back. Maybe she'll let me keep it a little longer. I re-learned the chords to one of my favorite Crystal Lewis songs called "Only Fools".

This weekend I'm going to a Renaissance carnival in Hungary called the Savaria Karneval. I'll stay at one of the university girls homes in a rural part of Hungary and two other girls that used to come to English club will join us too. I'm really excited to spend time with these girls, see another part of Hungary, go to this fair which will no doubt remind me of the Shakespeare Festival at Lake Tahoe, and just build with these girls. I'll be sure to take lots of pictures and post.

I was recently invited to consider a job opportunity in the US which would allow me to work with young people, missions training, travel and teach. I'm still in the interview process but I'm very excited about it. Although it still has to be confirmed, the greatest part about it is that I can be mobile -- setting up near family in Northern California/Northern Nevada. Offices are in Pasadena, California and somewhere else in the midwest, but from what I've been told so far, with what I would be doing, I could set up anywhere. This might just be the next step. I'll find out soon and I'm excited about that.

Monday, August 18, 2008

How to get a girl

Here's some advice from Ill Mitch. Not sure you should take it, but funny nonetheless.

Water, Sports, Phelps, Hungary

With all the commotion and duly deserved attention given to Phelps for being the human dolphin and winning 8 gold for the USA, one bright star in Hungary has been in his shadow, literally.

I didn't get to see Phelps win the last and 8th gold medal but I did see the race where he barely won the 7th medal by a second. If not for the touch pads and his long arm, it's doubtable whether Phelps would have taken the 7th, I think.

But being here in Hungary, I realized that Hungary won its first two medals at all in the swim events, thanks to this man, Laszlo Cseh. He came in second, taking silver for the 400 meter medley, the 200 meter butterfly and the 200 meter medley. Considering he was in the pool with the human dolphin, maybe a few of these silver shine at least as bright as the gold that Phelps holds. He was only 60 seconds faster than Cseh in the butterfly. Amazing.

Hungary has had a long history of doing well in the water. They are most famous for water polo, a sport I now fully admire and respect. Watching teams practice and play at Margaret Island has definitely given me a new love and appreciation for this sport. It's amazing because they have to have full body strength, swimming the entire time, not touching the bottom and swimming to make and throw it to the goal. I love watching water sports. So much fun. I used to love being in Reno and watching the swim team practice and compete at UNR. Those were good days. Now I watch the water polo team here in Hungary. It's nothing like Marco Polo......;D

Tennis ball massage & other musings

I went for a long run on Saturday -- a long run for me. I broke the 7 mile mark and I'm working my way up to be ready for the 1/2 marathon in September. I know I need to get new shoes but it's a dilemma of being in a foreign country. Trying to get a fitted pair is nearly impossible. I'd prefer to wait until I'm stateside and really invest in a good pair versus just buying a pair that may not necessarily be fitted. So, I guess I have to use the old shoes until February. Not too terribly happy about that, but it is what it is.

After the run I had some pain near the hip reflexors and hip bones. My friend Lisa said the best thing for it is to get a tennis ball and massage the area. Last night I went to Tesco and got a thing of cheap tennis balls. Wow! Can I just say she was right? This morning it feels great and I'm ready to get out there again today for a 4.5 mile run.
We begin our new schedule of programs and plans for the Fall next week. I'm excited to get back into a busier schedule. Otherwise life becomes too ordinary and I just get bored. I need the challenge of the next thing. I'm also hoping to finish this online course I've been taking for personal training. The material is interesting on a personal level and I'm toying with the idea of taking it further in the future, perhaps getting certified for it. We shall see.
Personal thoughts the last few days.

1 Chronicles 28:9 "if you seek Him He will be found."

I am looking for God to direct my steps. I'm looking for him not only in my personal life and decisions when it comes to direction, purpose and future but I'm seeking Him to order all my relationships.

One thing I was absolutely encouraged by -- not only through this youth camp but also in some conversations I've had with a male friend recently -- purity is possible in this day and age and its not something to be concerned about just when you're single. It's something to live by when you're married too. In my conversations with this single guy, I have realized that men are not just out for one thing. Men have feelings/emotions, thoughts, dreams and ideals for the future. I know that may sound really strange, but I have been honestly very disappointed by what I've seen in the men here in Hungary. And when I say very disappointed I mean that my soul has really been grieved to see how the men treat women here. But somehow hope has been restored in the male gender as I've talked with this guy. I am convinced and I know that there are men who are faithful, loyal and committed to their wives for a lifetime. I'm holding out for that. There are men who once they fall in love with their wife, they are going to love her until the end. Divorce will never be an option for me and so I want to marry once and make the right choice. I will choose wisely and I'll choose well. No mistakes. :D So, I'm seeking God in all of this and He will be found. I will find God in the midst of my decisions, my life, my future and ultimately my family.

It's a tough thing being single in this world today. I'm not a game player and I want the real deal. So I've had a fun and wonderful single life. That's not the point. I know I can do that forever if I had too. The reality is I don't want to do that forever. I'd like to purposefully meet, get to know and build a life with someone who is going in the same direction, is filled with purpose too. Hasn't happened yet but I'm not terribly worried about it. I know it will when the time is right.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

The Last Few Days

A few days ago we had a going away party for Luca who leaves tomorrow for London for six months where she will be a nanny and make a lot of money.I met a bunch of her friends and it was just nice to hang out in my flat and not actually have to be the one entertaining everyone. Luca brought a hockey table game and we played that and talked and listened to music.

We had fun playing around with Annas guitar. One guy was really good especially since he apparently has only been playing for two weeks. They asked me to play and I played the one song I know by Jennifer Knapp -- such basic chords but fun. One cool thing is that it looks like Coldplay is going to be in concert in September and some of Luca's friends want to go to that together and invited me. I'm excited about that.

So yesterday was my birthday and although I missed all 18 calls from family and friends in the states, I did get a chance to celebrate here in Budapest. First, Nori called in the morning to see if I wanted to go to the "Venice" Lake that is about 45 minutes from here. What a treat! I've been landlocked for so long. We had a great time playing in the water although it's nothing like Lake Tahoe's beautiful mountain spring (and cold) water in the summer.

That night I went to my pastor and his family's house for dinner. They made me Lasagna, fresh salad and garlic bread and a birthday cake! We had so much fun and afterwards I finally got to see the movie "Cars". Love this family and I'm so thankful for them in my life. Tonight I'm finally going to go see the newest Batman movie with my friend Lisa. I keep hearing its dark but good. So I'll be adding my opinions to this matter soon. In the meantime, I have two long runs I have to get in this weekend and I really just don't feel like it. But, I'm about 3 weeks from the 1/2 marathon and I have to stay on track. Looking forward to getting through the 1/2 and seeing how I do.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Weightlifter turns elbow

You may or may not have seen how 24 year old Janos Baranyai's first Olympic try for Hungary in the weightlifting event ended tragically. You can read the story here. That's the second Olympian this year in Hungary that something terrible has happened to. I'm not aware of other athletes from other nations but I'm probably more aware of Hungary because I'm here at the moment. So very painful not only for this man but for the Hungarian people who truly believe they are a laughing stock to the world. It's not like that though. Most of us are cheerleaders and we want to see this nation do well. Atleast I know I do.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Love watching the human dolphin

I had my first glimpse of the Olympic games a few nights ago when I babysat for some team members who have access to the games (with Hungarian commentary of course.) Watching Michael Phelps in the water is a complete inspiration. That man truly is the human dolphin!! It's early this morning and I'm actually going to go to Margaret Island to work out -- I have a 7 mile run (yuck), which is about twice around the island and a 30 minute cross training,so I'm going to get in the pool in his honor :D


This morning I read in Genesis 9:15 "And I will remember my covenant." I'm so glad that this thing of being a Christ-follower is not dependant on me. Of course I understand that I must daily choose to walk it out but God himself has based this thing on His faithfulness, His covenant. That's good news to a heart that sometimes finds itself wandering.


I'm reading a book by JP Moreland called "Love Your God With All Your Mind; The Role of Reason in the Life of the Soul" and I'm more convinced than ever that somehow the Christianity of today has taught believers to leave their mind at the door. Perhaps by accident, perhaps by coincidence. I think it is obviously and absolutely important to teach people the disciplines of Christian life -- reading your Bible, prayer, fasting, giving and being missions minded - global in our thinking. Yet at the same time, we must engage --actively engage in culture -- from art, music, science, philosophy, anthropology, etc. Maybe that's why I like Ravi Zaccharias so much.

Monday, August 11, 2008


"Freedom was traditionally understood as the power to do what one ought to do." JP Moreland. I'm reading a book right now by JP Moreland called "The Role of Reason In The Life of the Soul: Love Your God With All Your Mind." And getting inspired by the content. Reason and thought is not separate from faith. It never has been and never will be. Our minds were created to capture glorious things.


My body hurts from running 4 miles and doing a 50 minute spin class yesterday. But, I have to push on. Today I have another 3.5 mile run scheduled. I need to remember to do lots of stretching.


Although we have a long staff meeting today, I'm excited about making plans for the next six months. It's going to be great.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

A long blog (with lots of pictures) get some coffee

Last Saturday I met one of the youth leaders (Kolos, in red/white shirt) and a team of teenagers at the train station so we could travel together to a Hungarian youth camp. This year's theme was "Purity. Do you want it?" The camp was jam-packed with events from early morning to late at night -- activities, sports, workshops, morning and evening sessions and daily leadership meetings.

My Hungarian friend, Anett, who is a high school teacher and one of the six leaders for this Christian teenage ministry in Hungary, invited me to come and be a small group leader for a special English group, teach a workshop on Pop-culture and self-image and represent the USA for "Day of the Nations". There were over 30 youth leader workers and atleast 200 kids. Most of those who came were from Christian backgrounds but some were invited by their friends. The atmosphere of the camp somewhat reminded me of the camps I used to be a part of in Reno/Carson with Power Surge Youth Ministry.

My small group of girls were 16 and 17 years old. Our group was "special" in that it was the only "English speaking" small group. This definitely presented some challenges, but it was also great. Every morning after the morning session we would get together and talk about the topic. We had to grapple with the words and their meanings in Hungarian and English. Although we managed, it was difficult at times and I think God used it to stretch this particular group of girls to work outside their comfort zone. I think it was good.

One of the key highlights for our group was on Tuesday morning when we realized that almost all of the girls were on some kind of church worship team. I got inspired and decided to take our scripture for the day from 1 Corinthians 6:20 "You were bought with a price...therefore honor God with your body" and work with the girls to write a song. They got so excited and I just knew it was going to be a great way for them to express the truths they were learning in Hungarian and in English.

One of the girls suggested The Police song "Every Breath You Take".

We re-wrote the lyrics, Hannah played the piano and we had a lot of fun. As the song developed, a few of the girls asked some guys in the worship band to play electric guitar and drums. They joined us for a few practices, helped make the song come alive and joined us for the final production. By Thursday, the girls wanted us to ask Anett if we could perform it on the last night of the conference. Anett was excited about it too. We ended up being the closing act for the week long youth conference and it was a big hit. So much fun!

On a personal level, I have to say that some things were rekindled in my soul during the camp. Living pure in an impure world is possible. Fires were restoked and a vision renewed for the future. I'm looking forward to see how this plays out in the future. I had a great time. Although the camp itself had a sub-culture of its own, I know the hearts of those leading the camp are genuine and desiring to see God move among this generation and it was refreshing to see so many young people grappling with this topic of purity and how to walk it out in the real world. That was exciting to see.

I also met two different girls -- Abigail (on the left) and Evka -- and we connected in a way that I have no doubt we'll be linked together in the future in life and in ministry.

Abigail was my translator for the workshop and Day of the Nations. Even though she's American, she's fully Hungarian and has spoken the language since she was like - - 2 years old! So cool. And Evka came with a team from Bratislava. She is an amazing woman, loves the Lord and has a vision for Slovakia. We had so many great conversations and times together. I loved it!
I'm glad I brought my running shoes because I did get my 5.5 mile long run in and I unexpectedly got the cross-training in playing volleyball. Unfortunately, I was so exhausted that on two mornings when I could have run, I slept in that extra 45 minutes. So, I have a few runs to make up this week!

Although we had a power team for volleyball we lost on both days and that was really discouraging, but I think we gave it our best and had a lot of fun.

One afternoon I decided to go for a walk around the camp with my camera and just get some time to enjoy rural Hungary. I had found a really cool road a few days prior on my run and decided to walk that route. Here's a few pictures I took along the way.

I'm very glad to be home and to be able to get back to a normal routine. Although I'm young at heart, I can't do 1 am to 6:15 am sleeps. It's rough. There's no place like the place you lay your head down and call home. :D