English Conversations

I'm having trouble speaking english. Maybe I should go to our English Camp. Here’s my problem. Ever since I arrived last year, I found myself wanting to “blend in”, to identify with the culture. It’s not a bad thing to want this. Actually, I think it’s necessary at some level or another to want to identify with the people you are spending time with in order to understand where they are coming from. It’s just that people are very interested in learning English right now in Hungary (atleast the younger generations) and you would think I would just go with that!

Lest you think I blend in completely (ha) or that I speak Hungarian fluently (ha ha), let me just clarify that I can barely get past a few sentences before my cover is completely blown anyways, so what's the big deal? Today at the swimming pool a girl asked me in Hungarian where the guys entrance is to the pool. (OK, doing good. She thought I was Hungarian….that’s cool.) Of course, I didn't understand her and I had to say "most tanulok magyarol. Nem ertem. Bocanot. Mit?" "I'm learning Hungarian. I don’t understand, sorry. What?" So she asks in English, "Do you know where is the guy's entrance to the pool?"

So why don't I just stick with the language I know best? And fully embrace being an English speaker? I was born into this anyways, right? Why don’t I just use the language most young people want to learn in Hungary? When we go to Peter’s university campus we are going to sit around and speak English on purpose to attract those students who are interested in learning from Americans. I guess I’m going to have to come out of my shell.

I know why I’ve worked so hard not to speak English here. I don’t want to be like those "other" Americans who are here studying abroad or visiting and seem to come across just so obnoxious, brash and loud. Not everyone is like this but time and time again, some English speaking individual proves my point. Sometimes you have to be strong to get your point across or to try and bring some understanding in the middle of a language barrier. I obviously just don’t want to be rude in my demeanor.

So, I’m able to get internet access at a café just down the street from my apartment.

Tonight an American girl came in and loudly proclaimed that she would like a brownie. People are talking and laughing but she's just so loud about getting her brownie and kinda brash. It rubs me the wrong way and I just want to shrink into the little Hungarian that I CAN speak.

I’m reconciled to this fact. I will need to speak English here and people love it and I will continue to learn the Hungarian language and hopefully be able to speak more Hungarian along the way. People actually love that I try that too. My Hungarian teacher, Gabi, wants to trade Hungarian lessons for English lessons with her son. She wants me to practice English with her 16 year old son who will be taking a final English exam soon.

Sometimes missions is about meeting felt needs. The felt need in Hungary is learning English. I shouldn’t have trouble speaking English, should I? I guess I’ll go with it but I guess along the way I also want to try and remain sensitive to the culture and the people I am with at the time. Yes, I speak English. I'm still going to the English Camps though. Maybe it will help me get better at giving it away....