Why are men happier?

Men are happier people because.....
...their last name stays the same.
...the garage is all theirs.
...they can never get pregnant.
...car mechanics tell them the truth.
...the occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
...new shoes don't cut, blister and mangle their feet.
...phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
...they know stuff about tanks.
...a five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
...they can open all their own jars.
...if someone forgets to invite them, he/she can still be their friend.
...the same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
...they only have to shave their face and neck.
...they can "do" their nails with a pocket knife.
...they are unable to see wrinkles in their clothes.
...they have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
...they can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.

OK, so maybe this is a lil' exaggerated on some points but I'm sure there are some half-truths if not whole truths mixed into this one.